1
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:15,058
I hope Que's still here.
[grunts]

2
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,104
My bladder's about to burst.

3
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,758
Well, it's your own fault.

4
00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:21,760
I've never seen a restaurant
cut a guy off

5
00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:23,762
from bottomless lemonade.

6
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,677
It's a medical thing.

7
00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:27,723
Dry tongue runs in my family.

8
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,815
Hey, Calvin, Dave.
What's up?

9
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,556
Uh, your toilet seat
in about three seconds.

10
00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:39,909
Eh, sorry about that, Que.
I'm still potty training him.

11
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,954
[chuckles]
When I did that with my dog,

12
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,131
I used to whack him
with a rolled-up newspaper.

13
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,263
[laughs]
I tried that. It didn't work.

14
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,048
[laughs]

15
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,962
Oh, sorry, man, we're closed.

16
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,660
I'm not here for a haircut.

17
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:54,054
I'm here for the money.
Now hand it over.

18
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,185
[scoffs]What?

19
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:56,882
Why would he give you any money?

20
00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:59,755
Because right now
I'm asking nicely.

21
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:04,325
Oh.
I mean, he did ask politely.

22
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,677
Well, don't just stand there,
Que. Do something.

23
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,721
Good call.

24
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:12,115
See ya!Seriously?

25
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:15,205
If you didn't cut my hair for
free, I would change barbers!

26
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,946
All right, you.

27
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,208
Empty the cash box.

28
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,905
No problem.
After what he just did,

29
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:23,648
I'd give you the tip jar, too.

30
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,824
Ooh, that feels much better.

31
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:28,958
And who put my phone number
above the urinal?

32
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:31,569
Uh, uh, Dave?

33
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:34,224
Oh, hey.
Dave Johnson.

34
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:35,965
You just stay right there.

35
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:39,664
[chuckles]
Don't worry, I washed my hands.

36
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,927
He doesn't care
about your hygiene, Dave.

37
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,407
He's here to rob the place.

38
00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:48,064
Oh. Well, in that case, uh,
I take my handshake back.

39
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,153
Get over there
with your friend.

40
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,808
I think you mean
best friend.

41
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,331
Dave,

42
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,246
now is not the time.

43
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,074
Okay, all right, well,

44
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,729
let me just go over here
so I can...

45
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,600
powder your nose!
[screams]

46
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,602
Quick, Calvin, call the police!

47
00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:06,517
I will. But first
let me grab his gun.

48
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,258
What...
He has a gun?

49
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,695
Dave, get over here
and hold him down!

50
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:14,264
Okay!
[yelping]

51
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,832
Thank God this happened
after I peed.

52
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,618
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

53
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:21,880
♪ Welcome to the hood.

54
00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:28,800
So then the cops came,
they took the dude away

55
00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:30,280
and asked us for our statements.

56
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,282
Yeah, which was hard
for me to give,

57
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:35,024
because my dry tongue came
back with a vengeance.

58
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,505
[scoffs]

59
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:40,377
I still can't believe
you guys got robbed at gunpoint.

60
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:42,814
I'm just so glad
you're both okay.

61
00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:45,948
Yeah, me, too.
Aw, baby.

62
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,950
I don't want you
going back to the barbershop.

63
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,908
I'll cut your hair from now on.

64
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:57,089
Thanks, babe, but I'd rather
take my chances with the gun.

65
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:59,309
It's so cool
what you did, Dad.

66
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:02,704
You're like Batman,
except with a much lamer car.

67
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:08,013
It was not that big a deal,
and, Grover,

68
00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:10,973
there is nothing lame
about a reliable hatchback

69
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:13,976
that gets 30 miles
to the gallon.

70
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,674
Y-You know what?
Grover's right.

71
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,154
You're a hero, Dave.

72
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,025
Just because
you got a boring car

73
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,853
and an unintimidating physique

74
00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:25,074
and a pretty squeaky
voice, uh...

75
00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:27,250
w-where was I going with this?

76
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,252
Uh, well,

77
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,254
I think you were
complimenting me.

78
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,213
Oh. Yes. Right.

79
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,824
Look, the point is
is I owe you one.

80
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,434
[laughs softly]

81
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,436
Well, in that case,
why don't you finally let me

82
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,221
teach you to play Frisbee golf?

83
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:46,095
Like I told Tina, I'd rather
take my chances with the gun.

84
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,317
Oh, hey, Gemma.

85
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,753
Hi, Marty.

86
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:52,884
You know,
it's pretty crazy what happened

87
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,103
to Dave and my dad
last night, huh?

88
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,323
Crazy?
More like horrifying,

89
00:03:56,366 --> 00:04:00,152
or terrifying or
"I didn't sleep a wink"-ifying.

90
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,416
Oh, so school principals
can just make up words now?

91
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,246
I'm just so freaked out.

92
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,073
I know they're okay,
but I keep imagining

93
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:10,075
all the things
that could've gone wrong.

94
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:11,860
You know, I do the same thing
whenever I'm thinking

95
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,949
of asking a girl out,
but it always winds up okay.

96
00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:15,037
Really?

97
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,343
Yeah, 'cause I never do it.

98
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:19,128
[laughs]

99
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,477
Ugh, I just wish
there was something

100
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:22,871
that could help me
take my mind off of it.

101
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,002
Well, if you want,
you can come help me

102
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,090
work in my vegetable garden.

103
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,092
I always find it's relaxing.You do?

104
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:30,748
Yeah, it's peaceful, quiet,
it helps me clear my head.

105
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,184
All right, I'll give it a shot.

106
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:33,882
Great.

107
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,318
It'll be fun-tasterrific.

108
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,841
Nice try, Marty,

109
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:39,017
but leave the fake-titious words
to the professionals.

110
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:46,024
Hey, hey, y'all.
Here's the man of the hour.

111
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,374
And I also brought Dave.

112
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,419
[cheering]

113
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:50,855
Whoa, I wasn't
expecting all this.

114
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,335
Looks like word
spread pretty fast.

115
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,381
Yeah, almost as fast
as Que ran his ass out of here

116
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,947
when he saw that gun.

117
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:57,122
[laughter]

118
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,342
Hey, I ran to call the cops,

119
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,952
'cause I just get
better phone reception

120
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,519
hiding underneath my bed.

121
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:04,956
So, come on, Dave.

122
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,436
Give us the details.

123
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,177
Oh, yeah, and you ain't got
to start from the beginning.

124
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,440
Que filled us in on
the first ten seconds.

125
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,094
[laughter]

126
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:14,488
I mean, come on, guys, it-it
really was not that big a deal.

127
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,099
I, just, was in the right place
at the right time.

128
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:19,144
Dave, stop being so modest.

129
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:21,233
This might actually
be the only time

130
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:24,454
somebody really wants
to hear what you got to say.

131
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,978
Yeah, man, tell us
how you took this fool down.

132
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,458
Okay, look, I...
[sighs]

133
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:30,330
I guess it all started
when I looked at the menu

134
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,201
and I saw the words
"bottomless lemonade."

135
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:35,422
Okay, Dave, you have been cool
for, like, 12 hours.

136
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,119
Don't blow it now.

137
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:40,470
Okay, look,
there's not that much to say.

138
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,298
You know, I came out
of the bathroom, I saw the guy,

139
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,344
and I could sense
that something was wrong.

140
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,823
Ooh, like Spider-Man.

141
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:48,217
I told y'all
Spidey-senses was real.

142
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:54,571
Come on, Randy,
I'm not Spider-Man.

143
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,225
Although...

144
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,488
a lot of people
have been comparing me

145
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,361
to Batman.

146
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,015
They've all been
under the age of ten,

147
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,017
but ain't lying.

148
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:08,324
Keep going, man.

149
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,370
All right, well, I mean,
I guess I could tell you

150
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,372
what I did to the guy or...

151
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:13,982
I could show you!

152
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,288
[shouts]Hey, hey!

153
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,383
You were right, Marty.

154
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,341
This is really
helping me calm down.

155
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,864
Yeah, I know.

156
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:29,040
I just love getting my
hands down in the earth,

157
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,391
nurturing my little
baby vegetables.

158
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,914
It helps me stay grounded.

159
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,438
Plus, their
dependence on me

160
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,919
makes me feel like a god.

161
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,618
Oh, hey, Gemma.
What are you doing out here

162
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:44,273
with Marty
and his Cabbage Patch Kids?

163
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:47,058
Well, Marty thought gardening
might help take my mind

164
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,409
off what happened last night,
and he was right.

165
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:51,889
It is so nice
to only be thinking about

166
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,108
what's right in front of me.

167
00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,458
Carrots and radishes...
Oh, my God!

168
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,417
What?! Did you see
a potato bug?

169
00:06:57,460 --> 00:07:00,202
Show me and I will
smite him!

170
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:02,900
No, my wedding ring is missing.

171
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,163
It must have fallen off
somewhere in the garden.

172
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:08,123
Okay, don't worry, i-it's got
to be in here somewhere.

173
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:09,907
Uh, we'll just dig around
until we find it.

174
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:12,214
Uh, well, yeah, yeah, yeah,
but-but please be careful.

175
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,737
Remember, these are my babies.

176
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:16,174
The hell with that. One
of your babies stole my ring.

177
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:24,444
So I looked the guy
straight in the eye and I said,

178
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,576
"We can do this the easy way

179
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,578
"or we can do it the hard way.

180
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:32,103
And F.Y.I.,
I like it the hard way."

181
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,411
I think they
get the picture, Dave.

182
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,413
Especially after
you drew them one.

183
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,024
I got to give it to you, Dave,

184
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,983
I-I had no idea
you were such a tough dude.

185
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:43,463
Hey, I don't
go looking for trouble,

186
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,377
but when I hear
it's looking for me,

187
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:49,599
I raise my hand and I say,
"Dave Johnson, who dis?"

188
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:52,559
Ooh! Hey, yo, Calvin,
how come you ain't never tell us

189
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:55,475
Dave know how to throw
them hands, man?

190
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,955
I guess I never
really had the time.

191
00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:01,481
Because clearly it takes
an hour and a half.

192
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:05,049
Hey, Dave, now that I know
you can hang,

193
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:08,488
I run a little private casino
situation a few times a week.

194
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:11,142
You know, poker, shooting pool,
throwing dice.

195
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,970
You should come by tonight.Uh, actually,

196
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:16,452
Trey, I don't believe that
that's Dave's scene.

197
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,628
What are you talking about,
Calvin? I love a good dice game.

198
00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:21,413
You know, I don't want to brag,
but I once threw

199
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,415
three Yahtzees in a row.

200
00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:26,418
[laughter]

201
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:28,464
Man, you're funny.

202
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,987
But don't make
any jokes tonight.

203
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:31,336
Laughing always leads to fights.

204
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,121
Why?

205
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:36,124
I never asked.
Questions also lead to fights.

206
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,606
Hey, Dave, can I talk
to you for a minute?

207
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,260
Yeah, uh, hold on.
[sighs] What's up?

208
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:45,089
Look, trust me,
you do not want

209
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,570
any part of Trey's "casino."

210
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,050
Why not?

211
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,139
It's a rough crowd, man.

212
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,707
You say the wrong thing in there
and they'll whup your ass

213
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,448
till you're as bottomless
as those lemonades.

214
00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:01,018
Okay, Calvin,
I appreciate your concern,

215
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:04,544
but I think I've proven
that I can handle myself.

216
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,242
Okay, all right,
look, I get it.

217
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:10,332
Uh, y-you're feeling yourself,
and that's cool, man.

218
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:12,726
But we both know
things didn't go down

219
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,337
exactly the way
you've been telling those guys.

220
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:18,296
Name one thing
that didn't happen.

221
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:21,517
You running up the wall
to do a flying kick.

222
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,477
Okay, well, name another.

223
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:29,133
You running up that wall
to do a second flying kick.

224
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,527
Come on, man.

225
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,094
I'm just trying
to protect you here.

226
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,443
Oh, you mean like the way

227
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,706
that I had to protect you
last night?

228
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,621
Excuse me?

229
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,231
Yeah, that's right.

230
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:41,624
While I was taking care
of business

231
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,365
and you were just
standing there doing nothing.

232
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:45,715
Oh.
Oh, oh, okay.

233
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,456
All right.

234
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:49,632
So that's the way
you feel about it?

235
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:52,200
Yeah.
That's the way I feel.

236
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,811
All right, then fine.

237
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:57,292
Knock yourself out.
Or better yet,

238
00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:59,642
take Yahtzee
and somebody else will.

239
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,433
[whoops][cheering]

240
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,525
Hey, Dave, glad
you made it.

241
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,266
Oh, me, too.

242
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,660
Wow, Trey, you've got
a nice setup here.

243
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,444
You even have a coat check guy.

244
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,664
We don't have a coat check guy.

245
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:25,276
Well, in that case it looks like
I don't have a coat.

246
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:30,107
Uh, I brought some red wine
and a charcuterie tray.

247
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,501
Uh, you might want
to give the guys a heads-up.

248
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:35,373
The Roquefort
is a little robust.

249
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,288
Great. I'll let
Mad Dog know.

250
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,856
For a tough dude, he has
very delicate taste buds.

251
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,860
Okay, what should I do first?

252
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:45,775
I've got a hundred bucks
burning a hole in my coat po...

253
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:49,300
Ah, damn it.

254
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,780
It's cool.
I got you, Dave.

255
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,826
But next time, if somebody
offers to park your car,

256
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,654
we don't have
a valet either.

257
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,395
Yo, guys, this is my boy Dave.

258
00:10:57,439 --> 00:11:00,181
That's Carlos, Ricky and Eddie.

259
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:03,532
I'd shake your hands but,
uh, I have cheese fingers.

260
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:06,143
[dice rattling]

261
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,362
Yeah!

262
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,494
What's up with you, Eddie?

263
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:10,713
You just got out of jail.

264
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:13,324
That usually puts a smile
on your face.

265
00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:16,371
I know, but my favorite
cousin just went in.

266
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,852
He got busted last night
trying to rob a barbershop.

267
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:29,210
What's that you say?

268
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,603
Yeah, some clown jumped him
with a broom

269
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,388
and held him
till the cops showed up.

270
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,261
What a crazy story

271
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:41,788
that I am definitely hearing
for the very first time.

272
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:44,225
Crazy's gonna be what
I do to the guy

273
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,879
if I ever find out who did it.

274
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:48,490
I would do the same thing

275
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,840
if I ever found me...
I mean him.

276
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,236
Trey, why would you
invite me here?

277
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,238
Dave, I swear, I didn't
know they were related.

278
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:58,761
But you gotta go.

279
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,458
If I get any blood stains
in this place,

280
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:03,679
I'm gonna lose my
cleaning deposit.Okay. Okay, okay.

281
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,420
I... Look, I'm out of here.

282
00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:07,639
Uh, guys, it was
very nice meeting you.

283
00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:09,772
Whoa, whoa. Hold on, man,
you can't leave.

284
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:13,210
House rules.
New guy always rolls.

285
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:15,299
Well, that's very thoughtful
of you,

286
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,214
but I-I really should be going.

287
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:20,652
But feel free to help yourself
to some charcuterie

288
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:23,394
and a very oaky merlot.

289
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:26,528
I wasn't asking you.
I was telling you.

290
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,705
New guy rolls.

291
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,321
Okay, but, uh...

292
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,323
I warned you
about the cheese fingers,

293
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:42,587
so if these dice get stinky,
well...

294
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,893
that's on you!

295
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,895
[dice rattling]

296
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,636
[exclaims]
Oh, yeah.

297
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,513
Oh, my ring has to
be here somewhere!

298
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:56,906
Keep digging.

299
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:59,300
Oh, okay, okay.
But-but take it easy.

300
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:01,302
You are destroying
my entire garden.

301
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,783
Oh, that's not true.
Your carrots are still safe.

302
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,611
Oh, my God, it might be
in the carrots.

303
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:10,485
Uh, okay,
this is a disaster!

304
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:13,357
All I have left
is two strawberries,

305
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:14,837
some kale and a beet.

306
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,360
If you'll excuse me,
I'm going inside

307
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:18,449
to make the world's
saddest smoothie.

308
00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:23,977
I feel so bad for Marty.

309
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,370
I think it's gonna be
a long time before

310
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,851
I'll be able to eat
a vegetable again.

311
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,375
Nice try, Grover.

312
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:32,594
It was worth a shot.

313
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,820
Hey, Calvin, what are
you doing home?

314
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,865
I thought you were
hanging out with Dave tonight.

315
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,780
Change of plans.

316
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:48,305
Dave went to Trey's
underground casino.

317
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,655
So I decided to stay home

318
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,875
and do something fun
with you instead.

319
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,616
Are you crazy?!

320
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:58,881
You let Dave go to
Trey's by himself?

321
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:02,015
Okay, so maybe I should have
gone bowling.

322
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,540
Calvin, how could
you do that?

323
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,585
You know how rough
things get over there.

324
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:10,371
Hey, I tried to warn him,
but he wouldn't listen.

325
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,764
So now he's got to learn
the hard way.

326
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,680
Because apparently,
that's the way he likes it.

327
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,467
What are you
talking about?

328
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,470
Hey, you should have heard him
down at the shop

329
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,733
bragging about how tough he is.

330
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,909
So?So?

331
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:30,695
This is the same Dave
whose favorite season is autumn

332
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:33,046
because he loves to jump
in leaf piles.

333
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:38,834
Come on, Calvin, give
him a break. You know?

334
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,488
He's just excited
'cause he's finally

335
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:41,663
getting some shine.

336
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:42,969
What do you mean?

337
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,580
I mean, when you and Dave
go down to the shop,

338
00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:47,364
you know, you're always
the big dog.

339
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:50,585
The one in the spotlight
getting everyone's respect.

340
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:52,892
What do you think that's like?

341
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:56,417
Oh, I know what it's like.
It's amazing.

342
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,549
I meant for Dave.

343
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,943
Come on, Calvin,
think about it.

344
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,945
He doesn't get
to experience that.

345
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,730
So can you blame him for
getting carried away?

346
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,994
Eh, I guess not.

347
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,560
See?
You know what?

348
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:12,128
I better get down there
and make sure he's okay.

349
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:14,609
Oh, good. Take your coat
'cause it's cold out.

350
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:17,394
Oh, I'm taking two,
'cause ten bucks says

351
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:18,613
Dave already lost his.

352
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:26,403
It's no use.
We've looked everywhere.

353
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:27,796
We're never gonna find it.

354
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:30,016
Oh, don't worry, Gemma,
I'm sure it'll turn up.

355
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,757
Look, maybe one day Marty
will be eating a salad,

356
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:35,412
and boom-- "Ah, chipped tooth.

357
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,761
There it is."

358
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:42,071
I know you're trying to help,
but I just feel terrible.

359
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,812
First I almost lose Dave,

360
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:46,597
now I lose the ring he gave me
when we got married.

361
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:50,036
Okay, that's true, but
think about it this way.

362
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,952
You didn't lose Dave.
He's totally fine.

363
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,997
All you lost was
a piece of jewelry.

364
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:59,436
You're right. I'm focusing
on the wrong thing.

365
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,786
Dave's okay,
and that's all that matters.

366
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,614
Exactly.

367
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:06,095
I mean, if you think about it,
the ring was just a symbol

368
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:10,099
of what's really important:
the love we have for each other.

369
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,884
As long as we have that,
who needs a silly little...

370
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:14,799
Mom, Mom, Mom!
I found your ring!

371
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,627
Oh, thank God!
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.

372
00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:21,981
It was in a little tray
next to the kitchen sink.

373
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,940
That's right, I took it off
to wash the dishes

374
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,594
right before I came
over here to...

375
00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:30,641
Murder every one
of Marty's veggie babies

376
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:31,991
for no reason.

377
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,473
That is a very harsh...

378
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,649
yet accurate way to say it.

379
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,956
So...

380
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,479
what are you gonna tell Marty?

381
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,525
[sighs]

382
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,657
Well, sweetie, as
hard as it may be,

383
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,486
when you make a mistake
and you hurt somebody,

384
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,662
you always have to
tell them the truth.

385
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:52,968
Oh, the truth about what?

386
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,536
That I just found my ring
right here!

387
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,670
But you just said that...Hey, hey, hey, kid,

388
00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:01,150
play your cards right
and you won't have to

389
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:02,717
eat a vegetable for years.

390
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:06,721
[dice rattling]

391
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,158
[all cheer]

392
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,771
Man, you're on the hottest
streak I've ever seen.

393
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:15,077
Yeah, man, you can't lose.

394
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,210
Yeah, lucky me.
It's like I couldn't even

395
00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:19,603
get out of here if I wanted to.

396
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:22,519
No way, man, you ain't
going anywhere. I'm up big.

397
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,739
Come on, man,
keep rolling.

398
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:27,959
Okay, uh, anything but a seven,
right, guys?

399
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:31,702
Okay. Please, God, a seven.
Please, God, a seven.

400
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:32,834
[all cheer]

401
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,227
Yes! I win again.

402
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,229
Get over here,
cheese fingers!

403
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,234
Damn, I knew he was in
over his head.

404
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,236
Hey! Get your hands off of him!

405
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,066
What's your problem, man?

406
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:50,199
I'm not the one
with the problem, you are.

407
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:53,072
Do you have any idea
who you're messing with?

408
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:59,556
No, he does not, and I would
really love to keep it that way.

409
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,864
Nah, Dave, this fool
needs to know

410
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:06,128
that you single-handedly
took down an armed robber

411
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,087
at Que's barbershop
yesterday.

412
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,566
What?!

413
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,655
Yeah, that's right.

414
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,048
He whupped the dude's ass
so bad,

415
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,268
he sent him crying to his mama.

416
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,271
Aunt Lorraine?

417
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:23,145
So you're the guy that
got my cousin busted.

418
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,016
Cousin?

419
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,975
Oh, damn.

420
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,718
Okay, well, Eddie, yes.

421
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:33,764
Technically, I am the one who
got your cousin busted,

422
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:36,115
but let's not forget
that I'm also the one

423
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,594
who brought the
charcuterie plate

424
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,770
that everyone has been
raving about.

425
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:42,208
That's it, you're a dead man.

426
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,297
Oh, no, he's not. Ha!

427
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,957
Calvin! You said you didn't
know how to play Frisbee.

428
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:56,744
No, I said Frisbee golf.
Big difference, Dave.

429
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,835
Hey, I'm just gonna take this.

430
00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:02,706
It's probably too oaky
for you guys.

431
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:11,933
I told you, Dave, you didn't
have to give me a gift.

432
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,631
I know, but it's just my way
of saying thank you

433
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,111
for saving my life.

434
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,808
Look, if I hadn't gotten
such a big head,

435
00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:18,983
none of this would have
ever happened.

436
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:21,377
Well, when you put it
like that,

437
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:22,987
why isn't this bigger?

438
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:30,125
Yahtzee?
You got me Yahtzee?

439
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,214
Okay...

440
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:36,305
Look, I know it's not cool,
like Trey's dice game,

441
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:39,003
but it's actually really fun
if you give it a chance.

442
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,918
You know what, Dave,

443
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:43,094
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.

444
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:46,228
And that's only because of
what you did at the barbershop,

445
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,012
but...

446
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:51,712
I love Yahtzee, too, man!

447
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:56,238
What?! First I find out
you Frisbee, and now this?

448
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,022
I know, I should have told you.

449
00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:01,025
Are you kidding me?
Yahtzee and Frisbee?

450
00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:02,853
You throw in a cheese tray,
and this is gonna be

451
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:04,115
the weekend of my life.

452
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,728
I hope you like a smoked Gouda.

453
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:21,350
Captioning sponsored by
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454
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:23,396
Captioned by
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